Mother’s Day weekend, we had two people to whom to give bouquets, and so I had the excuse to buy double the flowers for arranging. (If I’m honest, more like triple–but still cheaper than a florist, and from the heart!)
Arranging flowers is really one of my favorite ways to spend time–when the environment is prepared. (This is Montessori’s way of saying that the space and setting are ready for the activity at hand to proceed smoothly.)
If I’m rushing, if the counter is a mess, if I can’t find my floral scissors…this task is really no fun at all–a chore, and I’m left feeling out of sorts.
But when I have a little more time than I need, and I take a minute to put away anything that’s cluttering the counter, and I get the supplies ready thoughtfully, it’s honestly really fun and satisfying.
And as I brought the last few stems in for classroom arrangements, I had the thought that this must be how a child feels when (s)he has the time, materials, and freedom to complete a task.
This, vs. what can often happen–we hope for independence, but we don’t necessarily create an environment conducive to it:
Maybe we want/need a child to put on shoes before heading out the door–but the shoes are in a pile, there’s nowhere kid-sized to sit, and we’re already three minutes late.
No criticism: at home, I’m guilty of this too sometimes. But lo and behold–when we allow enough time and when the cubbies are tidy, everyone gets out the door early and happily.
If this feels challenging, start small–choose one piece of your child’s day and plan ahead to adjust:
- the timing (build in five minutes for your child to do something like putting on shoes, even if you could do it yourself in 30s)
- the setup (even if it means neatening the shoes yourself and pulling over a kid chair the night before–the other pieces will eventually fall into place once you get rolling!)
- the mood (prepare yourself ahead of time so you’re ready with your calmest approach…plan out phrases if it helps)
In this way, the prepared environment is more than what it seems: it’s a win-win-win situation, because by showing respect to our kids, we are at the same time both empowering them and smoothing out our days.
(How can we offer this same experience to ourselves? Do we hate doing dishes, or is it that we’re trying to cram them into an already-too-busy day? How can we prepare the environment to shift our experience?)