Why less can be more for young children, and how to actually get there.
I saw an Instagram post today that included the hook:
A child can never have too many toys.
…and I hope I can convince you otherwise. A little tongue-in-cheek, but it highlights how easily toys can take over a home and a childhood.
Why does it matter?
We’ve all looked around the living room–strewn with blocks, cars, figurines, and more–at the end of the day and wondered: How did we get here?
It might seem like it makes sense to keep all the toys available–because why hide away something fun when it could be used at any time?
When we watch the ways that kids actually play, especially toddlers and preschoolers, we often notice that too many options leads to a lot of handling/dumping/moving around, but not much deep, meaningful play.
In a thoughtfully-prepared play environment, we want children to be able to make choices and settle in for a while with something that will hold their attention.
Young children are building attention span, memory, and motor planning. The creativity that lets them use toys in clever and unexpected (brain growing!) ways can also mean that they don’t have a concept of what to do with a lot of what’s on the toy shelf, and this can lead to overwhelm or a sense of spinning wheels when there are lots and lots of toys available at once.
When we reduce the available options, we minimize that decision fatigue (think of how you might feel when you’re handed a giant restaurant menu), create visual space (so kids can see what’s available for more thoughtful selection), and lessen the novelty (so many fun things to touch! I need to try this one and this one and this one…[but have trouble settling in to anything].)
How many toys should my toddler have?
Fewer than you think. I once knew a mom (long before my Montessori days) whose family had only books and blocks at their home, and while I sort of get her logic, to me that’s a few steps too far.
But truly, kids are happy with not-that-many toys unless they come to expect lots-and-lots of toys.
I’d think less about the total number of toys you own and more about the number of toys available in each playspace in your home.
My rule of thumb to try:
your child’s age + 2 toys in any given play area (plus, always!, books)
For your two year old: maybe some blocks, a puzzle, a small basket of cars, and some farm animals (with a barn, in a box that can become a barn, or with a book for matching).
Then, observe to see if this number leads to greater engagement or a sense of I used everything fun, now what? over the course of several days.
Does toy rotation help?
Yes and no. You don’t need a system, but you probably will want to keep some toys stored away while others are out and enjoyed.
Depending on how much closet space you have available, how many kids you have now or hope to have eventually, the number of play areas you spend time in, your child’s temperament, and your own comfort with keeping things orderly, each family’s individual plan will be different.
But it doesn’t have to be complicated–less toy rotation, more toy curation. The first step is to really notice what your child is choosing to play with and what’s mostly ignored. Then, once a week or so (after bedtime!), scan an area and ask yourself: what has she not touched in a long time?
If you put that one away and replace it with something you’ve had in the closet, you’re giving both toys new life.
What’s next?
- Start with one area at a time–you don’t have to overhaul the whole house in one weekend (though I have had families who’ve done this…not for the faint of heart!).
- Ahead of the holiday season, consider how you can: plan your own purchases, let family and friends know whether and what kinds of new toys are needed (or if experiences, books, or other creative gifts might be nice to put into the mix), and pass on any toys that might not be needed at your house anymore.
There’s more to say about thoughtful display and toy selection, but starting here will make a big impact, I promise!
I’m Jessica Brown, an AMS certified Montessori infant-toddler teacher, and at Clementine, we offer parent-child classes for ages 0-3+…like mommy-and-me, but more. We learn and chat about topics like this one both in and out of the classroom. If you’re local to Libertyville/northern Lake County, IL and are interested in finding more about our community, I’d love to hear from you!