(Adapted from a post to our private Instagram group from October, 2023. Session families, join to read them all…occasionally, I share an older favorite here.)
A number-one strategy for building independence and confidence is to let your child walk whenever possible, whether in beautiful weather as in the photo above or in gray and blustery weather like we have right now.
There’s a period of time when, even though our kids are capable of walking, we may still tend to look at this emerging skill more as kind of a fun thing to do around the house than as a new part of the daily routine.
When you empower your child to walk from the car into the library, for example, you are:
- validating your child’s capability and autonomy, which spreads into other areas of life
- allowing your child the experience of noticing things at her own eye level and, when safe, pausing to take them in
- demonstrating respect for your child by going at his pace
- placing trust in your child to walk safely alongside you, holding your hand when needed or setting boundaries for staying close when not (this is actually so important that I’ll talk about in detail another time)
It’s also the antidote to requests for carrying that kids sometimes make as a way to avoid a less-favored activity or destination. The more you walk, the more it becomes just the expected thing to do.
If this feels like a big transition, you might start by setting some parameters, like carrying your child in the parking lot at the library but making a point of setting him down to walk once you reach the concrete.
Of course there are times when we have to carry kids or use a stroller, either for safety or speed, and other times when it’s just fun for kids to be carried (and for the parents too!).
My encouragement is to let yourself grow toward seeing walking as your default, and really considering why you might carry before you decide to do it. The extra time and patience are worth it!